Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Consume the world or get swallowed by it.

Consume the world or get swallowed by it.


I come from a generation of instant gratification. If I need food, I can have it at my door in less than ten minutes or pick it up in my car in less than 5. If I need a friend, they are a quick text or call away. If I need entertainment, it’s in the palm of my hand 24/7…unless my battery dies, in which case I can find an outlet in less than 5 minutes to charge it as well.  The last time I read a book (for fun) was pulled up on my phone because I didn’t want to go out and buy it. We never have to leave our houses for anything material if we do not wish.

There are so many stores and they are bustling at this time of year. Why do we choose to go out and consume from the world even when we do not have to? Why do we feel the need to give our loved ones discount junk we found on black Friday just because it was a ‘fantastic deal’ on Christmas? Why can’t we just simply be present with the friends and family around us? The greatest gift any of my friends and family can give me this year is their time, their friendship.

Christmas can be one of the loneliest times of the year. And the new year rings in memories of the past. We evaluate ourselves and often look at what we did and who we are. Do we like what we see? What do we need to change?

I am halfway through my senior year of college… and I am freaking out. I don’t have quite the life I want internally, but cosmetically, I do. I don’t fully love, know, and trust myself yet, so how am I supposed to know what to do with my life? Society pressures us to go to college and we’ll just figure everything out there, right?! Wrong. I’ll be leaving college with more questions than answers. I’ll be leaving college with more doubts and worries. I’ll be leaving college still not knowing what it is I want in life. Isn’t that the purpose of an education, though? To make a person think?! Maybe it’s okay to not have my ducks in a row. Maybe the point of my college education was to make me evaluate entirely what I want in life…

STEP 1: Let it go.

My past has been haunting me. Did I make all the right choices? No, certainly not. But the mistakes I made have made me. I’m 20 and I get to graduate soon. I need to use this opportunity to wipe my slate clean.


STEP 2: Envision a new future.

I acknowledge where I come from, but I do not want it to define me. It’s so easy to get caught up in hometown drama and never branch out. The truth is, I’m sick of high school lovebirds staying together because it's convenient and never exploring new joys that life can bring. It takes so much courage to leave a comfortable relationship and mediocre life to try something risky. I have years before I need to bog down my life with commitment. No risk, no reward. I need to focus on having a future that makes me happy. This includes the hobbies, animals, and people that I love. I need to create a list of goals. What do I want to accomplish in the next month? Next year? And in the next 5 years?

STEP 3: Embrace the present.

I need to start today with a positive mindset. Every day is another day to learn. There are new adventures waiting for me to find them. They will not come find me. Life is what you make it. And it all starts by appreciating and enjoying every moment. One can sit at home and be bored, wallowing in self-pity and exist in a bubble. Or one can go out and enjoy the world for all it is worth.

STEP 4: Never stop learning.

It’s so easy to leave college, join a mundane career, and have a boring daily routine. The only thing hindering me from exploring is me. I need to remember that all of the adventures I want are possible only if I make them happen. I should never stop taking a class in something or reading books.

I used to be cold and not feel anything. And then I decided to open up to the possibilities of the world and the beauty and joys life has as well as the pain and hurts life offers as teachable moments. I’m trying to find the balance between these extremes. Forgive me. I don’t have life figured out, but I’m not going to stop learning. I think curiosity and exploring are wonderful. I’m determined to consume the world and not let the things of this world consume me. This is my journey.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Timing is Everything.

The moment I saw you, I knew my life had changed
With passion in your eyes, your words I believed
I cannot describe these intense feelings inside
There are no such words to explain what I perceive.

Timing is everything, and for us it was all wrong.
Our time was limited, for you soon had to leave.
Hopeful, I thought our connection was an exemption.
Alas I found out this thought was naïve.